Cuter then yours ;)

3 Fear's and Why (the list)

The one fear that seems to be on my mind ALL of the time is 1) Not being able to protect my kids.  This fear seems to have plaqued me the day my daughter entered this world, obviously, but gets progressively worse with time.  I will admit that most of the time these fear are completely irrational but despite that I have come to recognize that this is the curse of being a parent.  The next fear that seems to plaque me is 2) A disgruntled client will either find out where I live or who my family is and will do something very bad to either me or my family.  The reasoning behind this is simple, this is what it is like working for a not for profit that caters to every demographic.  I will note that I do not come across or cause disgruntled client very often but it does happen.  I remind my husband everytime we go to a city event that if someone comes to talk to me and I do not acknowledge him to keep walking.  Another fear would have to be 3) That the first two fears will drive me crazy, literally.  I seriously wonder some times if I am developing a paranoid schizophrenic disorder because of the intensity of these fears.  This is actually more of my husbands fear then mine but still a fear.

20 Random Factoids

1. I am scared of "something" biting or touching me in lakes
2. I think I am pretty funny
3. I like the smell of my kids belly buttons (this might REALLY scare some)
4. I enjoy getting to watch all of the Disney movies I grew up with with my daughter (even though she is usually doing something else while I am watching)
5. I am disappointed when I can't trick my husband into wanting to eat pizza or cupcakes
6. I have no self control when it comes to eating while I am prego
7. Navy blue is the color for me
8. After 2 years of not having cable, I really like it (except when SYTYCD is on, then I kick myself)
9. My feet have definitly gotten bigger after kids
10. I want my old boobs back
11. I pull my eyebrows out when I am anxious (which feels like 90% of the time these days)
12. I have mastered a 5 minute shower while bathing 2 kids (pretty proud of that one)
13. I strongely dislike it when the old ladies at Walmart touch my kids
14. I might punch the next person that calls my daughter a boy
15. I really like sleeping with my kids and if I could I would get another CA King and have one giant family bed.
16. My husband and I have not had a honeymoon yet, but you can be sure we will
17. I want to write Cesar Millan and ask him to explain my dog Jack Jack (I think he would be quite interested)
18. I am excited for the final installment of the Twilight movies (yep, pretty excited)
19. I have to own ever book I read and am proud to show them off
20. I am nervous and excited to be 30 next year.

The Swing of (30) Things

To help me get back into the swing of things I have decided to attempt the 30 Things list.  I got this idea from pinterest, which could be in entire post in itself because pinterest is ridiculously amazing.  The idea is to answer a question a day- fingers crossed- or when I can.  So here is the list:

THE LIST:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Where has time gone??

It has been a year and a half since I even glanced at my blog and I am a 2 year old and a 6 month old richer.  Life seems to be going for the distance and leaving me behind in the dust.  We just recently celebrated my daughters 2nd birthday but I am still scrambling to catch up with the birth of my son 6 months ago.  Though it is hard not to feel that time is so relentless and unforgiving, I find that I can't wait to see what happens next.  However, I remind myself everyday that life is going to be crazy for a while (so get use to it) and not to remind other parents that my kids are cuter than their kids ;) 



She's a Big Girl!!

The First of Many

Teething is the name of her game and the name of my game is ambivalence.  Since becoming a new parent I have been told over and over that the teething process is going to be long and hard.  I was told that sleepless nights and cranky days are on the menu and there was no opt out option.  When I tell people that Lil is teething they give me this look of pity and try to give me some words of wisdom or encouragement.  I started to feel like I was the little engine that could as I started to climb that final hill.  However, as we continue down the unavoidable road of life a tired, cranky baby is the last thing I am thinking about.  What I am discovering is that as the milestones come and go my heart seems to get a little heavier.  This may all sound crazy but along with my joy there is always a little despair to follow.  I spend countless hours wondering what she'll be like and I dream of hearing her laughing and watching her dance.  I can't wait to see who she will become.  But it wasn't until that first tooth that I honestly felt the sadness and have come to recognize the curse that hides behind the joy, the haunting shadow in the midst of beauty, the sting of motherhood.  As mothers we create to allow creation, we bless to allow blessings, we grow to allow growth, and we give to allow giving.  Our babies will make their own babies and in order to do that they must leave.  That first tooth was my first of many empty breaths that will remind me that she is not mine.  She will steal my heart everyday of her life and in the end I will have to watch her go.  Life from here on will be like the haunting melody that carries your heart across the sky just to bring you to the end.